The Caribbean Expedition - A Salty Memo (Part 3/3)
A Salty Memo

On the eve of departure from the Baltimore, Maryland docks, members of Ron’s Caribbean Motion Picture Expedition received the following:


2124 I ST. NW. TEL. WEST 0938


It is desired that all men be aboard and stowed away before the evening of June eighteenth. And it is advised that every man jack report the seventeenth as he will have to get his uniforms, dunnage and chaw stowed as well as procured. Furthermore, there’re supplies to be loaded, boards to be nailed, wires to be strung, pulled and coiled, and the three thousand some odd (no doubt) details to be attended to which always hoist their distress pennants the last moment.

Please advise immediately as to the size, amount and type of film you will use on the expedition. It will be packed specially with the main shipment.

Pennsylvania Railroad has lent a hand to the worried progenitors of this cruise and is writing every man his iron-horse directions. All baggage should be shipped via Pennsylvania Railroad to Baltimore care of the C.M.P. Expedition.

Nobody cares besides yourselves what, which, or how much baggage you bring with you. Most of it will probably be left in Baltimore, anyway. Please expect to get these “uniforms” from the slop chests of Pratt Street. The layout is the most practical and most serviceable you can get. And the cost the least. Tuxedos, overcoats and mittens should be omitted from the personal list. Only earmuffs are needed as self-protection against the biting, seafaring language.

DORIS will have no library, so a few books, especially a few dealing with the bold, bad buccaneers, will be a good addition to m’lord’s wardrobe.

Include Bermuda in the itinerary. At least you had better, for Captain Garfield has.

Incidental expenses on the cruise will probably amount to beer (if you drink beer), cigarettes (if you are too proud to pirate pipe tobacco from the natives), parrots ($00.01 a ton), bananas ($00.0001 a shipload) and knickknacks (if you’re the kind of a sailor with a girl in every...). Your film, its development and printing will be yours at cost.

There’s only one big thing to remember, me buckoes, and if you don’t believe me, you’ll rot in irons forever and ever and ever. When we’re away from these glorious United States on the twentieth of June, you’ll only have one royalty, one deity, and one master—Captain Garfield. But believe me, Gentlemen Rovers, when I say that he is fair. He’ll take us out and bring us back but woe betide him who violates the laws of the sea and says, “Sure, pal,” instead of “Aye, aye! Sir!” The directors and the staff and the complement are brothers under the skin.

Communications will be arranged through the Hartford Radio Relay League, and our position will be published daily in the shipping news. So you can get your letters and so on without a hitch. Advise your friends to get in touch with the League (Hartford, Conn.) and the steamship companies who will haul the mailbags.

Yo-ho and a bottle of rum, see you rolling up the dock—you landlubber!


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